Saturday, March 31, 2018

"Gay PDA Is Okay!"


"Love Is The Source Of Happiness...  Live Fearlessly"




"The Lover's Moon..."


"Lover's moon is high on the sky...143"

- Stephen Christopher Harris



I am always remembering...



"It's True, Lovers Do Start To Look Alike..."


Amongst gay couples, it's often referred to as "A Boyfriend Twin"

"While you may be familiar with the old saying, “opposites attract,” in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.

University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.

The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity."


Read more about this interesting phenomenon here...


"Fear Eats the Soul"



"Selfie Love..."


"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...



"Love And Life's Journeys..."


From the work of Chicago born photographer Richard Renaldi. Over the course of more than a decade, Richard has recorded images of himself and his partner Seth Boyd in their hotel rooms across the country and around the world for his project "Hotel Room Portraits."

I fell in love with these images from the very first time that I saw them. There is something incredibly familiar and comforting in recognizing not only the love between Richard and Seth, but also the rigors of travel and the occasional weary eyes and tiredness that we all fall prey to. Moreover, these photos reveal an intimacy and comfortableness that one finds only when two people are truly in love... They reveal "love and life's journeys."

Richard Renaldi was born in Chicago in 1968. He received his BFA in photography from New York University in 1990. Exhibitions of his photographs have been mounted in galleries and museums throughout the United States, Asia, and Europe. In 2006 Renaldi's first monograph, Figure and Ground, was published by the Aperture Foundation. His second monograph, Fall River Boys, was released in 2009. Richard Renaldi is the founder and publisher of Charles Lane Press.



"The Truth About Love..."


Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.

- Maya Angelou



"Same Gender Loving People - No. 3005"


"With Love Every Dream Can Be Possible..."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.



"We Were Always There..."





"This Made Me Smile..."


How sweet...




"The Views To Love..."






Spring is upon us, let your thoughts turn lightly to love's promise...




"The Artist's Corner..."


Alfredo Araújo Santoyo



Friday, March 30, 2018

"Gay PDA Is Okay!"


"Love Makes All Things Beautiful...  Live Fearlessly"




"Unintentionally Gay..."


What are you guys doin' down there...?



"The Views To Love..."




"A Little Sane Advice..."


8 Bad Relationship Habits You Need To Kick Before Getting Married
Don’t walk down the aisle without reading this first.

Huffington Post
By Kelsey Borresen

The good news? It’s not too late to work on these rough spots.

When you’ve been dating someone for a while, it’s easy to form bad relationship habits, which, if left unchecked, have the power to crack the very foundation of your partnership.

We asked therapists, psychologists, professors and other relationship experts to tell us which negative patterns should be broken before you start thinking about marriage. Here’s what they had to say:


Bad habit No. 1: Expecting your partner to read your mind

“Stop thinking you should get things you want without having to ask. Yes, it’s nice when your spouse anticipates your needs. But none of us is married to a mind reader. Though we have no guarantee that we’ll get everything we ask for, it’s our job to ask. In fact, asking is a sign of strength.”

― Winifred M. Reilly, marriage and family therapist and author of It Takes One to Tango 


Bad habit No. 2: Trying to make your partner jealous 

“Getting married is all about building a secure base for both of you. When you try to make your partner jealous as a punishment or as a way to get their attention, you undermine the security of the relationship. Try talking about your frustration or need to be seen instead of playing this game.”

― Ryan Howes, psychologist


Bad habit No. 3: Constantly asking your partner if they love you

“It cheapens the expression when it’s not given freely and spontaneously. You can say ‘I love you’ and hope he or she says it back. You can say, ‘One reason I love you is ... ’ and hope for some reciprocity ― at least sometimes. But asking to be told all the time can make you seem insecure (which you probably are, so you might want to examine that). It also pressures your partner in a way that may stifle the genuine moments of wanting to express love. If you have a partner who is a bit miserly with ‘I love yous,’ talk about that, but don’t ask for it.”

― Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology and certified sexologist


Bad habit No. 4: Getting stuck in a boring routine 

“You’ve met someone, you’ve dated for a while, maybe you have lived together and now you are planning on marriage. Your idea of fun has become hanging out watching TV, going to the occasional movie and maybe for a wild time, a weekend away at a bed-and-breakfast. I interviewed hundreds of long-married people for my book 30 Lessons for Loving, and according to them, that’s not enough. Before you get married, start having adventures. Break up the routine, try adventures where you are forced to step out of your comfort zone. Think a camping or canoe trip, a few weeks on your own in a foreign city, or, even better, a week or two of volunteer service together in a needy locale.”

― Karl Pillemer, professor of human development at Cornell University


Bad habit No. 5: Playing the blame game 

“Some couples are in the habit of blaming each other for their own mistakes, no matter what. Example: ‘You left the water running...’ ‘Oh, that’s because you called me away in the middle of washing my hands.’ This is a toxic habit because when partners are so busy defending themselves and blaming their partners, they lose the chance to be kind to each other and to feel close. The opposite of blaming is taking responsibility for your own actions, and that is the hallmark of a mature and emotionally healthy relationship.”

― Samantha Rodman, psychologist and dating coach


Bad habit No. 6: Mindlessly checking your phone

“Nothing says disconnection more than two people gazing into their phones when they’re eating dinner together or snuggled up on the couch. ‘We’ time can be in short enough supply as it is. Make the time you spend together count.

― Winifred Reilly


Bad habit No. 7: Threatening to leave when the going gets tough 

“When dating, some people threaten to leave the relationship when they’re losing a fight or wrestling with difficult issues. But once you’re on the road to marriage, you need to drop that tactic and view the problems as issues for ‘us’ to address. There are certainly exceptions (e.g., when abuse is the problem), but generally when you say you’re ready to commit to marriage, you are agreeing you’ll stick around through rough patches and not use bailing as a bargaining tool.”

― Ryan Howes


Bad habit No. 8: Grilling your partner about where they’ve been and with whom

“If they want to share, they will. If you are suspicious, then something sordid is at stake, and trying to catch your partner in a contradiction, badgering them or asking questions like a prosecuting attorney will just make matters worse. You have to back off and try to have conversations that are truly engaged about what your partner may have done during any given day, and not seem as if you are trying to control his or her life like a parent. If you are really getting paranoid, then just be watchful ― but quizzing only makes your partner angry, defensive, perhaps insulted and maybe a better liar.”

 ― Pepper Schwartz 



"We Were Always There..."





"This Made Me Smile..."


Sane Advice



"Same Gender Loving People - No. 3004"


"Love Makes A Home And A Life Together..."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.



"The Truth About Love..."


We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.... You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.

- John Lennon



"Adam and Andy..."




I love James Asal's "Adam and Andy" strip
our lives really are like this.

"The Artist's Corner..."


Royo Liu



Thursday, March 29, 2018

"Gay PDA Is Okay!"


"Love...  Live Fearlessly"




"The Truth About Love..."


Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."

- Erich Fromm



"Same Gender Loving People - No. 3003"


"Preserve Love's Special Moments..."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.



"This Made Me Smile..."


What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there.



"We Were Always There..."




"Adam and Andy..."


I love James Asal's "Adam and Andy" strip
our lives really are like this.

"The Views To Love..."



Dreams Do Come True...



"This Made Me Smile..."


This was my all-time favorite episode of Modern Family
"Mistery Date"

When I was younger, I had such a crush on Matthew Broderick.




"The Truth About Fatherhood..."


Throughout our history, gay men have found ways to make our dreams of fatherhood real.  Sometimes surrogacy is the answer... Here, Johnny and Sebastian share the events of the day when their son, Vaughn Everett Barleben-Lee came into the world and changed their lives forever.



*******

So much has changed so fast... Even as I struggled to make my own dreams come true, at the beginning of my own journey, I could not have believed that today I would be an openly gay married man, father to three sons and a grandfather of three beautiful children as well.

"It gets better...!"


"Fear Eats the Soul"



"The Artist's Corner..."


'Le Légionnaire"
Charcoal on paper
Roland Caillaud